Is it ever a good idea to tell your significant other that you “think you made a mistake a few weeks ago” while eating out in public?

NO.

But let’s back track a bit, shall we? Studly drove to see me for the weekend. On Saturday morning we headed out to a local bakery to try their Belgium waffles. I freaking love waffles and am always chipper when I know I’m getting some (that’s what she said). Add to that Studly had been particularly…umm…attentive to me and I was feeling cared for and after-glowey. In short, I was a fucking delight that morning.

I had barely started in on my waffle with Studly looked at me and uttered those horrific words and all I could think of was “he cheated on me, that bastard”. That’s what you were thinking too, huh? Well, we’re both wrong.

Backstory – last year I helped Studly fill out an application and write a letter of interest for a temporary position at his government job, basically someone who reviews other’s work independently of their managers. He got the job but failed the test and so was not allowed to be a reviewer. We’ll call this position “REP”, since that’s close to the actual acronym the government uses.

I slowly put my fork down and turned my eyes away from my waffle. “What are you talking about?” I asked, my heart in my throat, my stomach in knots and every other metaphor involving organs acting as they should not.

“Remember the REP job I applied for last year? I applied again this year.”

“When did you do this?”

“On my business trip to New York last month.”

“Oh. Last year you had to fill out an application and write a letter. I helped proofread yours, did you not have to do that this year?”

“I did those and turned them in.”

“Without me. Without my input or opinion or knowledge – ” I cut myself off because my voice was getting loud enough so that the table next to us was turning to look at me. I felt rage fill my body from my toe nails to the top of my head. I sat there silently, fuming.

Becoming a REP would include travelling an additional three months past when his current travel position would end. For the past six months we’d been discussing taking a class together and settling down nearer to each other than we currently live. When had he changed his mind about that and why had he waited until after he’d applied to tell me? Most importantly, why had he brought this up in a public area, especially when I was getting my waffle on?

I controlled my voice carefully, “When will you know if you were accepted into the program?”

He paused and slowly answered, “Yesterday.”

That’s when I got up, found the waitress and asked for a box for my waffle. I’d lost my appetite, which is a first. She brought the box and the check and while he hastily paid and tried to box his own food up, I walked out. Unfortunately, we’d come in one car so my grand exit was marred by having to wait for him to unlock the doors.

It was a tense, silent ride back to my apartment, where I stormed into my room and slammed the door, leaving him to put the waffles away. Sam the cat had been lounging on one of my windowsills and as soon as the door closed she ran over to it and started yeowling, demanding to be let in. I could hear Studly try to calm her down but she would have none of him. What a loyal little cat. I heard Sam growl at Studly as she realized he had done something terrible. Or possibly because he was enroaching on her territory. Maybe because he was wearing blue. It’s also a possibility that she just felt like being angry – with Sam, you never know.

I’ll skip the part where I got upset and punched a pillow and let Sam into the room while making sure to slam the door in Studly’s face. It felt really good to do that.

Sam was actually sympathetic to me cuddled up in my lap, letting me pet her fur and cry. Eventually I decided that giving Sam an impromptu tear bath was not how I wanted to spend my day, I wanted to spend my day demanding answers from Studly.

I’ll give you an overview of how it went instead of blow by blow dialogue. Mostly because I don’t remember exact quotes but partially because I’m lazy. According to Studly, he wanted to see if he could get into the program again after his bad record from last year. He didn’t originally plan on following through with it, until he got the acceptance and then he realized that he really wanted to do it.

I pointed out bringing up topics that are clearly private conversations in public places is not appropriate. He apologized. He did a lot of apologizing that day.

I felt angry, very angry but suddenly I had this terrible thought. You know when you get an idea in your head and you can’t shake it? You can’t let go of it until you confront it? Studly had been extra attentive the evening before and the morning of our fight….had he done that to put me into a good mood before he dropped the bombshell?!

He denied it, but I still have my suspicions. Ultimatley I ‘forgave’ him – and by that I mean that I won’t put up a fuss when he goes on his three month REP trip, but I expect a lot of fucking flowers when he gets back and some grovelling.

Worst of all I have not had a waffle since, because I flash back to that anger when I see one. Which is a shame because waffle-celibacy is no fun.

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