Ignorance is not bliss. Studly and I spoke last week and he was very distant and sharp. The next day he texted me saying that he was going to drive to my place. Since it’s a two hour drive each way, we usually on make that trek on our days off. This meant he had to wake up at 2:30am to make sure he got to work on time, but I assumed it was to make up for how bitchy he was the night before.

When he showed up we went out and had some fun, took a walk and made a nice dinner together. As we were getting ready to sleep he climbed into bed still wearing his boxers. I playfully tugged at the waistband and grinned, and immediately his smile dropped.

“I need to tell you something.” He said softly. “I went to the doctor today because I found…something…last night and the doctor had to remove it today.”

I know you didn't find a pot of gold in your pants...so what you did find probably wasn't good...

I know you didn’t find a pot of gold in your pants…so what you did find probably wasn’t good…

I pulled back and stared at him silently. A flood of thoughts crossed my mind, but the main one is the fact that it’s confirmed – Studly has HPV. According to my doctor the test for HPV in men is unreliable at best* and the only real confirmation is an outbreak which doesn’t happen to everyone.

*Remember I’m not a doctor or health professional. For questions, shell out the copay and go to your own damn doctor.

The second thought to cross my mind was worry for him. Now that we know he has it, we also know that he’s at increased risk for cancer.

The third thought that I was able to clearly identify in the tornado of my mind was the fact that he had known last night and chose not to tell me until today. Would he have said anything at all if I hadn’t noticed he was wearing boxers to bed? After running my mouth for a while about it, he assured me that he never meant to keep anything from me, he just hadn’t known what to say but intended to tell me and that’s why he had driven two hours to my house.

He told me about his appointment and said that the doctor had recommended getting the Guardasil vaccine. According to his doctor* sometimes getting the vaccine boosts the immune system and can cause the virus to become dormant (although it will never leave your system). Since Studly is older than 26, the oldest recommended age for the vaccine, it was not covered by insurance. He says paying full price is worth it if it means he might make the virus inactive. I had another appointment with my doctor yesterday and asked her again about the vaccination – she calls bullshit saying it won’t help once you already have the virus and that in our case we’re exclusive sexual partners and have already exposed each other to what we currently have. So the vaccine is useless unless we plan on sleeping with someone else. I don’t know who is right – I guess vaccination advice depends on what doctor you see.

*Note that my degree is a Bachelors in Business – does it look like I wear a white coat and carry around a stethoscope? If you want to know if the vaccination is right for you, contact your doctor.

I explained that it felt like he wasn’t honest right away and that I wasn’t happy about being on the receiving end of his bad mood. Studly was very apologetic about not telling me right away and the more he apologized, the more I wondered if I was being unreasonable. Was I being too demanding about wanting to know right away?