He asked and I refused. Gently, not in a mean way. When Studly told me that we were boyfriend and girlfriend (because I wasn’t aware of that fact until the moment he informed me), a thousand thoughts flew through my mind. The first one was, “Do I have to update my Facebook?”

Facebook is an ugly, messy monster. Once you update that field to “In A Relationship“, you start running a lot of risks. I mean seriously updating it, not putting “In A Relationship” with your left hand or your guinea pig, not “In An Open Relationship” with your best friend or “It’s Complicated” with a fake page of your favorite actor. I mean the real deal.

It’s one thing if you call your three besties at midnight completely drunk off of cheap wine, sobbing about your recent breakup. That’s what friends (and Aleve the next morning) are for. But when 300 of your most random aquaintenances see the update “<You> went from In A Relationship to Single”, even the most distance friend of a friend suddenly decides to comment on your wall, or worse – they “Like” your post. Consequently I’ve NEVER updated this aspect of my Facebook…well that and I usually don’t stay in relationships longer than the time it takes to go through a small tube of toothpaste.

Especially not after the recent update to that area – adding the anniversary date. Some people think this is cute – almost like another birthday. It pops up on your anniversary and not only do you get a reminder, but 100 of your closest BFFs can leave congratulations on your page. Except I’m sure that Facebook uses that information to customize ads targeting you (imagine jewlery ads just weeks before your anniversary) and to sell off to the highest bidder so they can try to sell their product to you. Charming!

So when I first refused, I explained that I wasn’t keeping him secret or anything just that only the closest people in my life – the ones that matter – would know. Not the cousin of my friend from preschool.

But now that we’re coming up on a year, I’m starting to think maybe I should have just taken the plunge. What was holding me back? If I’m being honest with myself, probably the thought that by announcing it to everyone I might be jinxing myself. Bad juju. But at this point, after convincing him that it only matters what our closest friends and family know, that Facebook is just silly…how do I tell him I think we should update? Frankly, it’s time to make some sort of announcement if only to have distant friends and relatives stop leaving comments about hooking me up with their awesome guy friend, it would be so much easier just to have it in my profile.

Ugh.

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