SlipNSlide and I have not been close for a while now and after a phone call with RockStar, I don’t think we’ll ever be friends again.

SlipNSlide and RockStar have been dating for four years and being young (21) and stupid, you expect someone to make a few mistakes. I’m just not sure what the limit is on mistakes. I have been cheated on, but I didn’t know about it until two years after Pretentious Author and I broke up. By then I’d moved on, hated him only a tiny bit and was seeing someone else. So the pain, betrayl and hurt was blunted, unlike what I’m sure I would have felt if I had found out while we were still together.

RockStar and I have the type of relationship where we don’t talk all of the time, usually just about the big things in our lives. But when we do have something to talk about, we don’t hold back. I know when he and SlipNSlide had been seeing each other for two months, he found out she was sexting (naked pics!) to one of their coworkers. Her explanation was that they had never had an “official” talk making them exclusive – RockStar had just assumed they weren’t seeing others. She pointed out that RockStar still talked to and hung out with his ex, so what was SLipNSlide to think? As someone who has casually dated a few men at once, I understood her argument. Unless there is a discussion, you should never assume. But since RockStar had only had 3 girlfriends in his life and dated less than 5 women…he assumed. They worked it out and all was quiet on the western front until last year.

Then SlipNSlide disappeared from my life. We used to hang out every few days and suddenly she was really busy and just didn’t have time to hang out with me at all. Eventually I learned the whole story. She started hanging out with one of their coworkers and became best friends with him. I had met him before – he used to come dancing with us when RockStar declined, since Rockstar has the grace of an elephant in stiletto heels. She and RockStar hit a rough patch most long term relationships go through – the daily routine of living together, having virtually no money after expenses to do fun things and the easy familiarity that couples get, where farts become more common than orgasms.

I’m cute without bunion-causing footwear!

Her BFF was exciting and new and her work schedule became erratic with late nights, so it was easy to hide the fact that she was going from work to his house before heading home to her own apartment. Then, they slept together. And afterwards she asked him if they were an item and if she break up with RockStar that very night. His response? “Why would you do that? It was just a quickie.” All along she was just a booty call.

Who knows if SlipNSlide would have kept this secret night all to herself, but a week later a coworker figured out what was going on when he accidentally overheard a fight between the Best Friend and SlipNSlide. Since SlipNSlide and RockStar work together, she decided she had to tell him immediately, lest he find out from someone else.

After hearing her confession, he told her right away that he loved her too much to be without her and promptly forgave her. They renewed their love and decided to work on their relationship. That was stupid of him. First of all, regardless of how you feel in the moment, when you hear news like that you should take some time to work out how you feel and what you want to do. If you do stay together there should be changes – do they need to check in with you? Do you need couple’s counseling? Hearing a confession and offering forgiveness right away doesn’t fix underlying problems. In fact, he told her the next day that he was feeling upset and wanted to have that evening to work through it and she got mad at him, because he’d already forgiven her and it seemed like he was taking it back and according to her, that wasn’t fair. Wow.

So they stayed together and RockStar asked me not to judge her or be upset with her. Let’s recap all of the things wrong with this, shall we?

  • Asked BestFriend if they were together and said she would leave RockStar.
  • Only told the truth because otherwise he was going to find out anyway.
  • NO mention of STI testing.

You should note this is the story she told me. So her comments about leaving RockStar – ALL HER.

Then a few months later she confessed to having feelings for her other best friend, Studly. As in the guy I had just started dating. Studly kept his distance and I felt that I couldn’t trust her at all. RockStar heard her words and said everything was just fine between them because he knew Studly cared about me and wouldn’t cheat with SlipNSlide. What the fuck? Does anyone else see how wrong it is to be OK with your girlfriend crushing openly on someone else, because you know that someone else wouldn’t cheat on their girlfriend who happens to be your sister!?

Finally after Studly left on a three month business trip to South Dakota, SlipNSlide found a new best friend named JP. They hung out all of the time and she helped him with his infant son (baby mama is out of the picture). One night in a fit of insecurity, RockStar checked her phone and found damning texts from JP about how much he wants and misses her and how he wishes they could ‘have a night like last time again’. When confronted, SlipNSlide said JP kissed her and she told him it couldn’t go any further than that. Doesn’t sound like it based on JP’s texts, right?

It seems like a pattern where she cheats with her newest best friend who is always a coworker – so how can Rockstar ever trust her around work? How can he trust her at all?

Compounding this is the fact that Rockstar pays all of their rent and utilities/bills. So after hearing her side of the story, he decided he needed to live alone in their place and she’s moved back in with her parents. Right now they’re “dating”, which means she doesn’t sleep over but he takes her out. How nice for her – she’s found the perfect pussy whipped man.

How can he not see that in the past six months she’s cheated twice and if I hadn’t started dating Studly, it might have been 3 times?! Either she’s moved on and doesn’t want to be the one to break up with him, or she’s subconsciously ruining this relationship. In this case does the old adage ring true – once a cheater, always a cheater?

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