Here’s the thing – emotionally I’m a hard ass tobacco chewing manly man. I may be barely 5’3″ with an impish grin stamped on my face, but when it comes to my feelings I don’t really have much range. I think this is why my relationships haven’t worked out well in the past.

Unless my estrogen is high I don’t cry easily, even during sad situations. I hate chick flicks with a passion and the girliest thing about me is my ongoing love affair with daquiris. I’m extremely straightforward and couldn’t figure out how to play mind games if I tried. I’m also not particularly clingy and don’t end up doing things that define my relationship with men.

For example, since I have a more relaxed attitude the men I’ve dated usually don’t push for further involvement, so it’s almost like I’m not sending some unconcious signal that says, “I want us to be an item”. When I dated HOTTT, WhiskeyGirl asked me why I didn’t offer to nurse him when he felt ill. I was flabbergasted – am I expected to do that? She explained that it would show him how I cared about him, by caring for him. I think I’m socially stunted or something.

From the very beginning, Studly hasn’t had any issues being touchy-feely with me. One of the first times he came over to my place and I was trying to make out with him, he stopped me to tell me about his sister who has some serious medical problems. Um. Ok. I really just want to suck on your lower lip. Does that make me insensitive?

As I’ve said before:
I. HATE. CUDDLING.

I feel like I’m being suffocated or like the guy is trying to meld us into one person. Not my favorite thing. The first night Studly slept over I woke up in some sort of wrestling/pretzel move completely engulfed by him while he breathed deeply into my neck. I extracted myself and let him know that 50% of my bed is for me. Maybe 60% because I like to spread out. But I like to use my part of the bed by myself. Thanks.

Oddly enough we seem to get along better due to the fact that we’re different ends of the emotional spectrum. While I’m a bit cold and distant, he’s in tune with his feelings and never afraid to express them. I have problems inititating hand holding in public since I hate PDAs, but he ignores how stiff I can be and has made me more comfortable with reasonable displays of affection.

After meeting his family I think I’ve narrowed down where he gets his open nature. His family is from a Mediterranean country and they hug and kiss upon seeing each other, even if it’s only been a few hours since they last spoke. They’re extremely affectionate, even among the men. In my family men may hug each other…if it’s been more than six years since they’ve seen each other. They NEVER kiss each other. Studly’s family do the double cheek kiss thing, even the men.

Sometimes our differences really shine through. I’m used to dating men who are like me emotionally. Sort of distanced and not going to react very quickly or strongly. So when we fight I expect him to pull back, assess things logically and don’t get worked up. Studly has cried in the past. I have never been with a guy who cried so easily.

A few nights ago he said he wanted to treat me like a princess. I think he expected me to say “aww” or something. I was closer to saying “ass” instead. My first thought was that I don’t need to be treated like a princess – I can take care of myself. Furthermore, if I was going to be treated like royalty I should be treated like a Queen. Puh-leze, I’m head bitch.

Maybe I just needed to meet someone more emotionally accessible, since I’m sure as hell not.

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