Ever since my brother started dating SlipNSlide, she and I have been damn near inseparable. His last few girlfriends were withdrawn and stopped him from attending family events. In comparison SlipNSlide melded seamlessly into the family from her first meeting and even calls my mom "Mom". This past summer she spent less time with me than previous summers and stopped taking my calls, but she had also gotten a second job so I figured she was busy. A few months later she apologized and confessed that she had cheated on RockStar with her best friend and had been avoiding me. She and RockStar were trying to fix their relationship and she no longer contacted her BFF.

She had also found a new best friend, Studly. When I was sick I crashed their afternoon plans – out of boredom and also because I wanted to see for myself what their chemistry was like. She cheated once, after all. On the drive back home after a long day of hanging out I flat out asked her if she would cheat on RockStar with Studly. She said no, that Studly’s ex had cheated on him repeatedly and so he would never do that, but also that she didn’t want to hurt RockStar ever again.

"I can’t say what will happen in the future. I mean, RockStar and I could break up and I could marry Studly in ten years. Who knows?" She mused out loud. After the festival where Studly and I made out, SlipNSlide virtually abandoned me. I tracked her down one night at the pier a month after Studly and I started dating. As we shivered in our coats, I asked her what was wrong.

"Everything! I sucked at school and I know everyone is disappointed that I dropped out of college. I hate my jobs and I don’t have any time to do fun things. My parents are divorcing and they fight through me and my sisters. My relationship with RockStar keeps getting worse and worse and I feel like he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore. Everyone at work found out I cheated and they make comments when he’s not around." It did seem like she was in a bad place. We talked it out but I had to cut her off early because I already had plans for the evening.

I offered to drive her to her car because she parked far away. As we drove through the parking lot, a strange suspicion took hold of my mind. You know when a thought occurs to you and it’s like a puzzle piece appeared that you didn’t know was missing? It just feels right. I had that moment. So I stopped my car at hers and before she got out I asked her point blank.

"SlipNSlide?" Her hand hesitated on the door handle, "Do you have feelings for Studly?" She turned and looked at me and I knew.

"Yes. I have feelings for him, but I don’t want to hurt you or RockStar by acting on them." The way she said it sounded like if she chose to act on those feelings, he would choose her over me. Suddenly, I felt nervous about losing him and insecure with how he felt about me. If she went to him and told him she cared about him, would he leave me? Did he return her feelings? Was I just the second best choice?

I shook my head sharply. This isn’t me! If he would choose her over me, I’m not the type to wallow in despair over it. I’d rather not have a man than have one that doesn’t want me as completely as I want him. But how do you bring that up? ‘uh do you like SlipNSlide?’ Plus we’d barely begun dating, so it’s not like I expected him to have exclusive feelings for me, I just wouldn’t expect him to have feelings for someone I knew so well. SlipNSlide started to get out of the car.

"Wait!" I said quickly. She paused, looking at me expectantly. "Listen, if you really feel strongly about Studly and you ask him out tomorrow regardless of what he says I’m going to be upset with you. My feelings will be hurt both for me and for my brother, but someday I’ll get over it and we can still be friends. If you wait a few months and I fall for him and then you do it, even if he stays with me, I’ll be livid. And I won’t forgive you. Ever. Our friendship will be over, because friends don’t do that to each other. So you need to seriously think about what you’re going to do." She nodded and hopped out of my car.

A few days later Studly came over and told me that he and SlipNSlide had talked and decided they need to have some space between them because she had developed feelings for him and he didn’t want to risk what he had with me. I told him that she and I spoke about it, because I didn’t want him to feel like I was keeping anything from him when he clearly wasn’t planning on keeping things from me. It made me feel good that even though the conversation isn’t one either of us wanted to have, we were both honest and upfront right away. It gives me faith in our future together to know we can talk about anything.

However, my friendship with SlipNSlide has never recovered and she and I aren’t speaking. I’d love to remain friends with her, but she refuses my invitations and everytime I do see her she’s bitter and angry. I know things have gotten worse between her and RockStar, but I almost feel like she wishes she had asked Studly to leave me to be with her. That makes things awkward between us and although I have no doubt now that Studly would choose me over her, it still causes me some discomfort when she’s around.

Look for an update about her birthday party and the drama that unfolded. Post coming soon!

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