I know I’m a skeptic, a realist and possibly a pessimist, but in this instance I think I’m being perfectly reasonable and Amazon is not. You see, she’s planning her whole life around a man she met two months ago, to the point where she’s going to move out of state to be with him. Too fast? I think so.

Since she was in her early 20’s Amazon has told me she won’t ever complete her dream – to have children – because she can’t find a good man. By 23 she had adopted a kitten since it would “be the closest thing to having a child that she would be allowed to experience”. Yeah, kind of young to make sweeping statements like that. A few short months later she was foisting the cat off on her parents because she was going to move to Hawaii to be with her cheating ex. They broke up (again)…because he cheated on her.

Since the ex left her life, she’s been single and has become extremely religious. She’s said multiple times that she’s “given up” on finding a man and that motherhood must not be what god wants for her. I still think she’s jumping to this conclusion a bit early in life. I understand her frustration: Hometown is an awful place to try to date. Imagine trying to kiss a guy who you’ve known since preschool. You watched the kid eat his boogers on the playground. It’s not sexy or mysterious. I haven’t dated anyone from Hometown since high school for good reason!

Two months ago Amazon went on vacation to a nearby state to visit some family. While at church she met a man and they went on two group dates. Since then, she has declared that they are soul mates. She is moving to be with him at the end of the year in six months (sorry, she moved up the move date after I’d written the post!) and plans on getting married within the next two years. Let me reiterate:

-two group dates

-two months

-soul mates

One of these things is not like the others…

While Amazon is 29, this man is almost 40, has two kids from a previous marriage and she barely knows him. Her family in that state barely know him. They don’t plan on even kissing until their wedding day. He’s clearly not a virgin (2 kids!). I think if you’re going to buy the chicken you should make sure it lays eggs first…and hopefully lasts longer than 56 seconds if you know what I mean…

I care about Studly a lot, but I’ve only been seeing him six months and that’s almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. I want time – lots and lots of time to get to know him better and to find out if we’re truly compatible. Marriage isn’t just a religious thing or a way to show your feelings; it’s a legal binding of two people and undoing that binding sucks. I know I’m cautious, but I think more time is better than less; more knowledge is better than less; what can it hurt to take your time when dating? Either you discover some things about them that change your mind or you give yourself the ability to savor what you have.

The fact that they started saying they love each other after less than a month worries me, because I don’t think you can feel love that quickly. I haven’t said it to Studly yet. You just can’t truly know someone that quickly, especially given the distance and only being able to talk through text or Skype.

Am I wrong? Can you find your soul mate and know they are the right one right away?

 

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