Yesterday Smokin’ and I skipped lunch so we could ditch out of work early to go see The Bloggess a loooooong drive away in Los Angeles. We got stuck in traffic, got lost on the way there, finally found the parking garage and ran in.

Knowing Jenny as well as I do, not because I stalk her blog or anything, I’m just a fan. A very loyal fan. God that sounds stalkerish. Anyway, I figured I would find her in the bathroom. So Smokin’ and I hung out in the bathroom, waiting for The Bloggess to come in to hide from the crowds. It would have been just like high school if you had stuck a cigarette in my hand and applied some crappy 99 cent eyeliner. No such luck guys, she did not hide in my bathroom, which led me to believe that they have bigger, better, nicer bathrooms backstage.

We finally got to our seats and the host of the show was Soleil Moon Frye. She’s about the size of an elf and adorably tiny, I almost wanted to throw her in a burlap sack and steal her and keep her with my childhood dolls. Unfortunately, she also looked scrappy and I’m guessing she does Taekwondo or something and could probably kick my ass six different ways before I untied the burlap. And let’s not beat around the bush here, she’s pretty elegant looking so maybe I should invest in silk rather than burlap. Ugh, that sounds expensive. Let’s just skip it.

Then Jenny spoke and she’s funny in real life too. She may have been having an anxiety attack but the woman pulls off anxiety really well. She was soooooo funny she had everyone’s attention. I’m not sure how to explain it…oh! No one was checking their smart phones for new texts or emails, that’s how interested in her we were. Dear Jenny, you are more interesting than the status of my text message inbox. You know, most people would think that’s an insult but I feel like Jenny would understand that it’s a huge accomplishment.

Then we stood in a long line to see her and by the time I got to the front I got super tongue tied and barely said anything and just took the picture with Smokin’ and muttered something to the effect of “thanks for writing about depression” and then ran away. Yep, there went my chance to tell her how awesome I think she is and how her talking about her depression and anxiety have opened the subject up for so many people but noooooooooooooooooo, I just flashed my boobs at the camera and walked away. Good job Zoogie2!

Of course today I go to The Bloggess’ website (to see if there were any pics with me in the background) and I find out that Stephenie Meyers was there too! If I tell my aunt that I was in the same room as Meyers and didn’t get an autograph…there will be no more Zoogie2. The British punishment of being Drawn and Quartered will seem humane compared to what my aunt will do to me. So Smokin’ and I tried to go to Meyers’ website to email her saying something like, “OMG Zoogie2 didn’t wear her glasses so she didn’t see you so we didn’t assault you asking for an autograph but we have evidence that we were there, see pic. Please send us autographs”. But THEN we found out that Stephanie Meyers doesn’t allow you to email her! Or snail mail her! I guess she has a thing about stalkers but ALL famous people have stalkers, it’s like a rite of passage or something. So she’s really preventing her own growth as a celebrity.

All in all, totally worth the ridiculously long drive, even though I acted like a 12 year old boy with a crush and didn’t even see the other famous author in the room.

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