Update (already!?!): Unpleasant once again is receiving complaints because he isn’t doing jack shit. Projects sent to Beardo and then assigned to Unpleasant fall into a black hole and no one ever hears about them again.

At least he isn’t physically located in the office. If he was, I’d demand to move my cubicle far, far away. Maybe all the way to our other office on the East Coast. I can grow to like snow. No really, I can!