Before I get into the details of the dangerous, bloody mess I alluded to last week, I have to introduce a new character who moved into my apartment building while I was dealing with Big Orange. The Wiz was an awesome guy, we met because he noticed a certain fake plant near my window and stopped by my door to ask how I managed to make it grow so large. I let him in so he could see that it wasn’t real. After that we became good friends. He often held beer pong games in the tiny hallway, asking almost everyone who walked by to join in. He was one of those all around fun guys and I played a lot of beer pong after walking home from class. Eventually, I grew to like him quite a bit. I really liked him.

Since Elle and I were virtually inseparable, she spent a lot of time around him as well. One night, after we all went out to a party we were laying around, drunk and sleepy on my couch, The Wiz revealed that he had a secret – a big one.

“My key is actually a master key.” He said grinning. “You can use it to open any lock in the entire building.” After we yelled that he was a drunk and called his bluff, he stumbled over to my door and walked outside. “Lock me out!” He called out. I turned the deadbolt and leaned against my couch, convinced that he would ask to be let in any moment. To my shock, the lock turned and he walked in. I felt for my keys in my pocket – yes, they were there. “Isn’t that cool?” He asked, grinning.

I was horrified. If he had a master key, did anyone else? I knew The Wiz to be an awesome guy, but I suddenly felt a lot less safe. What if he loaned his key to a friend who took advantage of the situation? He could steal things from us or even come in and hurt us. The next day, I informed La Actress.

“What!?” She exclaimed. She knew The Wiz, but not as well as Elle and I did. “Screw this, I’m calling the manager.” I knew I shouldn’t stop her, the management company should know and should confiscate the key. Not saying anything might have legal ramifications for us. She called and let them know. I felt terrible, but also felt like I had to tell The Wiz what happened. I confessed to him and while he was annoyed at first, he said he understood.

“Actually, I have an even bigger secret.” The Wiz told me softly. “I like Elle.” Dammit. At this point, Elle was dating a guy steadily for years and I wasn’t a fan of her man. He was abusive and eventually she would take out a restraining order against him. That’s the story of the first time I liked a guy and he fell for Elle. It’s a plot line that’s been repeated multiple times. But now that you know The Wiz, I can tell you what happened to create a dangerous, bloody mess