It has now been twelve days since I got a good night’s sleep (minus that one night when I totally downed three sleeping pills in desperation for some good old fashioned REM sleep but woke up feeling like I didn’t actually sleep and now I’m out of sleeping pills. Dammit!). I think I’m turning hysterical or something. I ramble on about nothing, look like a zombie and can barely drive myself to work.

On the plus side – who knew there was a positive side effect to insomnia? Ever since I lost the ability to sleep, I’ve also lost my appetite. Breakfast? No longer necessary. I was so ‘un-hungry’ (is that even a word?) last night that I only ate a few strawberries for dinner. I didn’t even really want them, but you try turning down fresh, ripe, sweet strawberries when they’re singing your name from the fridge.

I guess another side effect may be hallucinations.

I can’t even eat a full breakfast anymore. Anonymous Software Company provides apples and bananas year round for breakfast for employees, so I usually eat a banana every day. I have low potassium, so this is how I make sure I get enough. These days I can barely choke down half (That’s what she said! Sorry, I really needed to type that or my head was going to explode).

I was hoping there was some comprehensive website that listed all symptoms that insomnia gives you, but it seemed pretty scattered. Here’s what I may be suffering from:

Irritability Are they accusing me of something? Damn internets saying I’m irritable, I’ll show them irritable!

Lack of Concentration Bingo!

Prone to illness and infection Geeze I hope not. I feel fine *knock on wood*

Headaches Not yet…

Weight gain HA! I’m experiencing the opposite. In your face!

Anxiety Pre-existing, so it doesn’t count

Hallucinations Strawberries singing? Check

So in conclusion, I’m going to be a happy little elf and enjoy the lack of hunger for a while. Too bad I’m not hungry, otherwise I could climb the Keebler Tree and munch on some cookies. Damn!