OK, concerning the title…I need you to go read it again. No, seriously. Now sing it out loud like that song, “feelin’ hot, hot, hot” with the steel drum. Great, now are you singing? Man, I hope you’re at work and your co-workers can hear you.

I had another date with HOTTT last night – originally we were going to watch some terrible 1950’s horror movie, but he lives with his brother so we couldn’t watch there and my place is currently under construction. Why? Well after seeing Twitch’s place, I realized that I’m a professional working woman with some money who only owns things that look like a college dorm threw them out. So I’m buying some slip covers, I finally set up my book shelf and I’m looking into a chaise lounge. I know, kind of ridiculous, right? Except it’s always been my dream to have a chaise lounge, ever since I read my first romance novel and the hero and heroine got in this one position…uhhh I mean…he…proposed…on bended knee…while she was on the chaise (well, he was doing something on his knees anyway). Don’t judge my book porn, OK?

So we went to see Super 8 instead, which was actually kind of fantastic. I really couldn’t figure out the genre, but it was a funny, touching thriller. During the movie every single person in our row had to pee, causing them to slide by us, so neither of us could get comfortable for very long. After the movie we hung around outside in the parking lot. It was cold and misting (what the hell, I thought it was summer!) but I shivered and persevered. He’s waaaaaaay too cute to leave just because of a little bit of cold weather. After almost two hours of talking, we decided to part ways. Something about school (him) and work (me) early the next morning.

I sighed, decided to enter a convent because I’m certainly not getting any action these days and went to hug him goodbye. Then he got that look in his eye. You know, The Look. As I mentally high-fived myself for freezing my ass off in the fog, he kissed me!

“You’ve been waiting for that for a while, huh?”

“Finally!” I said with a grin and a nod and decided to kiss him a little bit more. Hell, if I had a club I’d have knocked him unconscious and dragged him back to my place. Cave men had it right. Of course, I never did get around to Googling “how to tie men up to sleigh beds”.

But then, dear readers, I let me sabotage…me. There I was, warm (well, some parts of me…), being held by a gorgeous man who was staring into my eyes, and he asked, “When can I see you again?” A normal person would have flirted a bit and told him a day. Instead, I felt a touch of panic (see this entry for more detail on my panic issues) and then I said nothing. Fuck me! I totally let my overwhelming (and annoying) fear of commitment hold me back. I ended up recovering, but it still didn’t come out right. Almost like I wasn’t into him, which I totally am. If there is someone out there who can provide therapy, maybe through the phone or Skype, basically someone who can fix the crazy parts of my brain, hit me up! Preferably before I lose the cute guy I really want to jump!