In my copious amounts of spare time (read: the past few minutes) I’ve been reviewing the search terms that bring people to my lovely blog. I found two new ones – I have to wonder how these reflect on me. You know, since they found my blog this way…

“guy flashed me”

Now ladies (and some gents), this happens. In case this hasn’t happened to you (yet), here is how you can react to the situation:

1) After your initial shock, pull out your camera phone and take a pic. Not only can you use this as evidence, you can post onto your blog and share with the whole wide world. Don’t we all need a laugh?

2) Laugh. Loudly, condescendingly and unendingly. Basically, make his little flasher shrivel up like you poured salt on a snail. Doesn’t that imagery make you laugh harder? Good, now use the amusement to make him wish he’d kept his trench coat closed.

3) If you forgot to post to your blog, flicker, Facebook and Twitter – do so now.

4) Call the cops. Get this freak off of the street before he escalates.

5) Buy yourself a congratulatory drink. You’ve earned it slugger 🙂

“craighlist porn perverted”

You don’t need Google to find this. Just go onto craigSlist (spell it correctly dumb ass) and start looking through “casual encounters”. Almost everything on there is perverted, and if you’re not concerned about being flashed, this is the site for you.

Note: Be careful if you do decide to hook up over Craigslist, there are all kinds of STIs, crazies, undercover cops and killers. I really can’t afford for a single one of my readers to die, since there are so few of you. I guess I should submit you guys to the endangered species list – but then the poachers would come after you.