I took three of my cousins to the zoo; they’re all under the age of 10. Of course, the minute we pass by the farm enclosures, the goats decided to get a bit frisky and started totally going at it. As I hastily tried to pry the kids to the next exhibit with promises of ice cream, they chose that moment to become interested in the animals.


“What are those goats doing?”

They’re dancing.” I said shortly. No way was I going to explain the birds and the bees to my cousins; I was not being paid enough for that crap. Hell, I wasn’t being paid at all! “I guess no one wants ice cream. Oh well.”

“I do! I do!” Screeched my youngest cousin, only four.

“I know what they’re doing,” the oldest said smugly. At my look of worry, she said, “They’re dancing. I’ve seen people dance like that on MTV.”

Grinding, I thought, relieved. She’s only 8 and she’s equating grinding with goats having sex. Yep, sounds about right, all music videos have musicians that look like goats procreating…

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