Tan, black, gray and cream. I’m convinced that there is some sort of black hole that sucks out any bright and cheerful colors in an office. At Anonymous Software Company, our carpets and tiles are a washed out tan color, the walls are a neutral cream, the cubicles reflect an uninspiring gray and everywhere you look there are small splotches of black – the trash cans, phones, computers. The rare flashes of color you see are almost frightening, because throughout your 10 hour day you only see four colors and then all of a sudden the Coca Cola machine blinds you with its cheery red.

Today I looked at the mirror in the bathroom with dawning horror as I realized that I was wearing black slacks, a gray top, tan vest and cream and brown shoes. I am literally fading into my job. I could try to spin this as a sad attempt at camouflage but that would be a lie.

That’s it, I’m wearing my teal shirt on Monday, I need to rebel against my tortured soul and dying imagination.