This is what happens when Evelyn and I drink together. We were at a Game Night, knocking back a few and losing terribly when a friend, Gretel starts talking about something she read. In order to get a cow to bond with a calf that wasn’t her own after her calf died, some people skinned her dead calf and covered the living calf with its skin. Gross. After a few days, they were able to remove the dead skin because the cow had already started bonding with the mother-less calf. She associated her dead calf’s scent with the living calf and her love was transferred to the living baby.

Two drinks later, we were discussing a guy that Evelyn has a crush on but he has an on again, off again girlfriend.

“Well,” she slurred, “I’d just skin her and then wear her until he got used to the scent of me and transferred his love for her to me.”

I think the funniest part was how completely dead serious she was. We all cracked up. This is why we don’t drink together very often, we end up reminding people of Silence of the Lambs or some other scary novel…