Where do I meet these guys? First my ex won’t disappear, then I run into a guy I never wanted to see again, and now I meet a cute, funny guy who’s stuck in high school.

I needed to buy some cat litter so I stopped by a well known chain to pick some up. I walked right past my favorite fruity alcohol, so I decided to grab that too. It wasn’t until I got into the line and saw how attractive the check out guy was that I realized how much I seemed like a sad cat lady, drinking alone and crying into my cat’s fur.

I have a baby face – curse you baby face! – so I can usually pass for a high schooler, if not a junior high student. The only thing that makes it obvious that I’m not 13 is my impressive…uhhh…attributes in the chest area. Back to the story.

As usual, I was carded and Cute Checker mentioned that we were almost the same age. We started a fun conversation about where we went to school and who we knew in common while he waited for a manager to get him a price check on my fruity drink. After a bit of flirting, I was prepared to come back to the store soon and ‘accidentally’ run into him again. Then he spoke.

“Really? You went to High School? I went to Rival School, til they kicked me out. I was kinda a bad boy,” he used this opportunity to wink, “and then High School kicked me out too. School is for lame-asses.”

My little brother E-Shizzle was kicked out of high school twice and earned his GED. He has emotional and drug issues. But when he talks about getting expelled, he talks about how he made mistakes. How he regrets what he did. How he’s grown as a person. Cute Checker acted like it was cool. That doesn’t impress me. I prefer substance to a pretty face.

Goodbye Cute Checker.