I never thought this day would be here so soon! You know when you were a kid and your parents said something that they thought meant one thing but it actually meant something totally different and it was usually widly inappropriate. As a kid you giggled and ran away to tell your friends or stared in horror at your shoes if it was said in front of your BFFs. As a teenager you roughly pulled the offending adult aside to whisper how gross they just were as a look of confusion swept over their face. You know that some day that will be you, old and terribly out of date on the latest venaculars, but who knew that day would be today for me??? I’m too young to be this dense!

There is one person at Anonymous Software Company who routinely screws other people over and his name is Jim. If he sends you a file, it is almost guaranteed that there is something wrong with it. Either it has multiple entries of the same person or company, is from last year and not current, or has data that was supposed to be disregarded. Either way, when you try to use the file, something will error or cause a problem and everyone will blame you. It’s like when your friend secretly steals from a store and throws the stolen item in your purse. You’re only crime was in being in the wrong place with the wrong person. Somehow, you’re left responsible for the mess.

I’ve learned long ago to go over any files from him with a fine tooth comb before I forward it along or use the data in any way. SpeedRacer hasn’t had as much exposure to Jim so on our latest project he didn’t review the file before uploading it into the system. I was uploading into a different system and went through that file like I was searching for a bomb or trying to figure out if Ms. Scarlet killed Mr. Body with the gun in the kitchen. I was late for lunch since it took so long to fix his mistakes and ran into SpeedRacer walking back to his cubicle.

“Hey, you missed out on some great jokes during lunch. Where were you?” SpeedRacer asked.

“Man, that file that Jim sent was so messed up, it took me forever to fix it. Are you going to load into <Program> now? I can send you my version of the file after I eat.” I said, feeling my poor tortured stomach rumble.

“What do you mean ‘messed up’?” SpeedRacer said, looking worried.

“You didn’t just load it into <Program> did you? It’s from Jim, his files are always wrong.” At the look on his face, I knew he hadn’t double checked. So screwed.

Suffice to say it took SpeedRacer over two hours to fix the load. Better him than me, right? When Poww found out, he also commented on how Jim’s files are always more work than they need to be because Jim doesn’t care about his mistakes.

“We should have a name for when Jim sends us files that are wrong. Like you just got pwned or something.” Poww said, grinning at the recap of SpeedRacer’s story.

“Hey! We should call it getting Jimmed. Get it? JIM-med.” I exclaimed. Immediately, SpeedRacer’s eyes widened and Poww started snickering.

“What did you say?” Poww asked.

“Ummm, Jimmed, like Jim…what!?” I felt so confused. Why was everyone laughing?

“No, we are not calling it that.” SpeedRacer started laughing and turned and walked to his desk. I instant messaged him right away.

Zoogie2: What the hell!?
SpeedRacer: Go to UrbanDictionary. Google what you just said

So I googled it and got the definition off of UrbanDictionary.

Jimmed: To be sodomized, to engage in anal sex as the bottom or receiver. Can be used as derogatory remark or to describe an actual event.

Thank you UrbanDictionary. It’s accurate but if HR found out those words passed my lips in the office, they’d probably give me a warning. Now let me yank my foot out of my mouth and pretend like I never tried to call it that.