I’m pretty and fun to hang out with, but I don’t think I deserve the level of creepy adoration that my ex is giving me. Jarhead and I met over a well known internet dating site. Elle had just broken up with her boyfriend of three years and was ready to meet some new guys. I agreed to join the site with her.

I found a lot of creepy guys. A lot. But Jarhead seemed nice. He was older than I would have normally looked for (over 10 years older than me), but his initial message was funny and he seemed cute. Plus we emailed each other for weeks before he brought up the idea of meeting. We went on some dates, he cooked for me (man, that guy could cook) and we had fun in general. Unfortunately, the man was a super-clinger. I’m the type of person that bristles when people try to spend too much time with me, especially when they blow up my cell phone texting me 100 times a day asking how I am. I’m good, just like I was 12 minutes ago.

From the beginning, we had some obstacles (even before he turned clingier than saran wrap). He lived 30 minutes away from me and with both of us working and me going to school, it was hard to find times to meet up. He had a kid from his previous marriage (divorced for over a year) and he wanted me to meet her. After we’d been dating for ONE MONTH. Too soon, dude.

During my last few weeks of school, we talked about my graduation/finals week. I wasn’t ready for him to meet my family (note: just. started. dating.) and I wanted time to study. I had a high GPA and if I could get A’s in most of my classes, I would graduate cum laude, so I was really concerned about studying (yes, I did graduate with honors!). I asked for two weeks where we didn’t try to commute back and forth to each other – we’d talk on the phone, text, email, etc. but I didn’t want to commit to driving around or waiting for him to show up. He graduated from college a few years before and explained that he understood how I felt.

Things went fine through the first week, while I studied and completed my finals. We contacted each other daily and I lived off of food in the Library vending machines. Then came the second week – I had asked for this one to have one last hurrah in partying and seeing my friends. I figured if we could go two weeks without seeing each other in person, we might have a chance as a couple when I moved back to Hometown. But he couldn’t handle two weeks. First the emails started, saying how he missed talking to me. He would send these about 20 minutes after we hung up the phone with each other. Then the texts. Finally, I broke it off with him by text message while at dinner with my family the night before my graduation. He kept texting me about how it had been too long since we’d seen each other (again!), he wanted me to meet his kid (I’d already told him that I felt it was too soon) and how would I feel if he showed up at the restaurant and met my family?

I should have told him over the phone, but I was so pissed I just texted him. He was distracting me from one of the greatest acheivements (to date) – my graduation from college. I just wanted to eat dinner with my family and enjoy my accomplishment. So I put my phone away and went back to my meal. Every few weeks for the rest of the summer, he would text or email me asking how I was. At first I responded but didn’t encourage him. Then after the 5th or 6th invite to meet up again, I followed some bad advice. I told him I moved across the country to Pennsylvania.

Since then, I haven’t responded to any of his calls/texts. But he still persists. He even asked what city I live in, in case he should happen to be in Penn some time. Creepy.

Finally, he texted me during Mardi Gras to “say hi” and sent me yet another email saying:

How have you been? It’s been a while since we talked. Are you still in Pennsylvania? I miss you a lot, you know? I’ve been dating on and off but I still think about you all the time.

Seriously? I’ve blocked his email, but then he just creates another account. We haven’t spoken since October (well, I haven’t responded back) and we haven’t seen each other since May. It’s been a year and we only dated for a few months. Please move on and leave me alone.