La Actress was dating a super fine Marine and she decided that she was going to lose her virginity to him on Halloween. That is, until they broke up a week before the big day. La Actress had been sleeping at her Marine’s place almost every night, and was letting one of her friends, BeautyQueen stay in her bed. Once they broke up, BeautyQueen started crashing on the couch and some of the roommates weren’t happy about that. Especially since she wasn’t paying any rent. I didn’t care either way, since I had morning classes every day and didn’t have to tiptoe around her until she woke up. Since I didn’t have any problem with the situation, there was no one willing to speak up to La Actress.

One of our friends, Frat, was having a Halloween party and invited us all. La Actress and BeautyQueen went over early but Smiley and I wanted to finish our homework first and then we headed over together. By the time we got there, La Actress was falling down drunk and had lost an important part of her costume. A part that covered up an intimate area of herself. It definitely set the tone for the night. We all started partying and having fun, but I stayed sober because I had an 8am class the next morning and my professor let us know that missing that class would result in a drastically lower grade. Awesome teacher, but no sense of humor or fun.

I was having a great time until I practically tripped over Smiley. She was sitting on the floor crying with laughter. I started to help her up and she screeched “No” and pulled her hand back. Uh oh. I call her Smiley for a reason – that girl had the best temperment and ability to laugh. When she got screechy, angry or difficult, it ususally meant her blood sugar was too high or too low. I looked around and found a few bottles sitting near her. She had been drinking, which is the best way to spike blood sugar apart from a gallon of Chunky Monkey*.

I checked her jacket pockets but didn’t find any insulin and she didn’t bring her Glucose Meter. La Actress came stumbling over with BeautyQueen holding her up to give Smiley a hug. I looked around and realized that BeautyQueen and I were the only people who were sober. After spending an obscene amount of time making plans, I grabbed Smiley and started forcing her to walk back toward our dorm. I got her inside and made sure she checked her levels and took the appropriate amount of insulin. I left BeautyQueen at the party to take care of La Actress and went to bed.

I remember hearing someone come into my room and lay down on my roommate’s bed. I assumed it was La Actress and fell back asleep. I was up and out of bed early the next morning, trying to get ready for class and checking in on Smiley to make sure she was ok. We had a leisurely breakfast together and just as we were putting our dishes in the sink, someone started banging angrily on the door.

La Actress stumbled in wearing part of her costume with men’s basketball shorts. She immediately launched into an angry diatribe. Apparently, La Actress had decided to continue with her de-virginization with Frat and BeautyQueen took her key and left. Personally, I wouldn’t have waited around either. When La Actress woke up this morning, she was a bit sore and ‘forced’ to do the walk of shame from Frat’s dorm to ours in her revealing costume and his shorts, since her skirt had ripped earlier in the evening. She was locked out of the building and had tried to contact us but didn’t have her phone. Then after waiting for someone to leave the building so she could get in and walking three flights of stairs, she had to wait for us to answer the door.

This would have been a great time to leave for my class, but unfortunately my other roommates decided to use this opportunity to inform La Actress how they felt about BeautyQueen staying with us. In detail. With shouting.

Feeling that my honor was in question, I ended up joining in. Somehow, between four girls yelling we came to an uneasy truce. And I ran to class. Literally. I barely made it in time and got a bit of a stink eye from my professor. Sober, yelled at, worried about my roommates…it wasn’t my favorite Halloween.

*Note: I love Chunky Monkey and would never blame it for anyone’s diabetic coma. Chunky Monkey is second in my heart only to Half Baked – the best ice cream EVER.

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