I won’t go into detail about things that happened at Mardi Gras (what happens at Mardi Gras, stays at Mardi Gras…although the shame may haunt you for years to come). I went with Evelyn and her friend Teddi (female). I didn’t know Teddi that well before we left, but now that I do know her I think I’ll leave that friendship as a casual aquaintance. Basically, Teddi was a bitch during part of the trip. She was rude and condescending to our cab drivers & hotel staff while asking them for favors. Not the smartest thing that a person can do.

But what really, really annoyed me? She insisted on putting her phone on speakerphone for almost every call. In our tiny hotel room. Repeatedly.

I haven’t figured out why some people insist on doing this, but I have my theories:

1) Narcissism

You want everyone to know that you’re speaking on the phone to someone, usually someone important. When people do this, do you notice how often they tell personal (and usually innappropriate) stories about things they’ve done, seen and people they know? I swear, when people have their speakerphone enabled, they name drop like it’s raining celebrities.

2) Your phone sucks

So you have an old phone with a crappy earpiece and you can’t hear the other person over the static. Upgrade or walk to a dark corner to tell your mom that yes, you really do love her and you’re being safe. No you aren’t talking to strange men. No, really, you promise. Note: Teddi had a brand new Droid, so this excuse didn’t apply.

3) You want to appear popular

You want to prove you’re talking to someone and aren’t a pathetic loser who pretends to talk on the phone for attention. Inevitably, everyone who does this looks like a jackass.

Basically, if I’m hung over and you start talking to friends and family via speakerphone, I reserve the right to drop kick your ass.