When I drink, I always end up drunk texting. Usually, I leave my phone off or have a friend confiscate it from me. This didn’t happen on one particular night. There I was, mixing my alcohols and having a wonderful time at RockStar’s party when I suddenly decided that texting an old flame, BBG, would be a great idea.

BBG and I met in college when we were both members of the same club. He was hott, smart, funny, hott, outgoing…and did I mention hott? He’s a very fine guy. We started hanging out and texting and eventually things got heated and I asked what he was looking for. He gave me a speech about how he just got out of a bad relationship and just wanted a good friend…a really good friend.

“Oh. Well I’m more the monogomous type.” I responded, already writing off any chance with him.

“Well we can be monogomous friends – we’ll agree to only sleep with each other.”

If I didn’t like him so much, I probably would have said yes. But over the past few months of hanging out, I’d really started to care about him and I knew that if I started having sex with him, I’d end up hurt and he would walk away fine. I said no thanks and thought that was the end of it. I’m not that lucky.

We started going through this odd cycle – every few months one of us would text the other and we’d start our “romance” all over again. Only to have another, identical conversation once things got hot and heavy; he just wanted to be friends with benefits and I still had feelings for him. He’d ask if we could be monogomous friends with benefits, I’d say no and we’d sigh and avoid each other for a while, then start the whole thing all over again.

Then after a few rounds of this, I became good friends with another member of our club. GPS and I were seriously made for each other. I get lost driving in my Hometown (no joke!) and she can find her way around an area she’s never been to. We like most of the same things and ended each other’s sentences. (Just typing about her makes me miss her!). One night, we were over at her place for a movie night and she told that she didn’t know what to do about this situation…maybe I could give her some advice?

See, she’d been hanging out with BBG for almost a year, and he just got out of a bad relationship so he wasn’t ready to date but wanted to be friends with benefits. But she’s a good Christian girl and didn’t want to sleep with someone she wasn’t dating…


After comparing notes, we realized we’d both been played. Really badly. We both swore off BBG and every muscled, adorable inch of him. Shortly after that I graduated, left the club and moved back to Hometown. Then, on that fateful night of rum, vodka and champagne, I lost my head and texted BBG.

Now we’re texting (again), the only difference is things can’t get hot and heavy at all. I’m a few hours away from Generic College where he still lives. But this hasn’t stopped us from chatting like we still live ten minutes away from each other. He started being really sweet, we’d talk all the time, he’s still smokin’ hott and I’ve had dreams about him. Dreams people! I almost never dream! In true idiotic me fashion, I’ve fallen even harder for him.

Guess who texted me last night? Yes, BBG. Yes, GPS – who them admitted that she’s been talking to BBG and he’s so sweet and super fine…damn.

Played again. I may just be the dumbest person alive.