This is an awkward topic, but I’d like to see if someone (anyone!) out there has had the same problem…and how they handled it.

My brother’s roommate has asked me out a few times. Once, while I was drunk and (frankly) kind of desperate, I said “Yea, sure.” He seems like a nice guy but…(and here’s where I feel like a jerk), he’s extremely obese – morbidly obese. I’m not skinny, I never have been. I could lose a few pounds for certain, but I’m nowhere near obese.

I’m really not attracted to him – not that I’m only looking for a man as ripped as Taylor Lautner.

He seems like a nice guy and I’ve dated men who were on the heavier side, but he’s over 300 pounds and around 5’7″. I’ve heard from both sides – on one hand I have friends who say that I should go out with him and see if our personalities mesh and I shouldn’t judge him based on his appearance. My other friends suggest that going out with him to test our chemistry would give him false hope – you can’t force yourself to be attracted to anyone. I tend to agree with my friends in the latter category; I know this is a situation stereotypical to shallow men – rejecting a woman based on weight. I guess that’s why I’m so hesitant to do so.

I can’t say that I would or wouldn’t like him, because I don’t really know him that well. A lot of the time when you hang out with guys who are interested in you, they’ll be very…touchy. In the sense that they frequently grab your hand, put their arm around you, hold you close to them. With this guy, I’m almost repelled – have you ever sat on one of those plush couches that you sink into so much that you almost can’t get back up again without dragging yourself off & out of the couch? It’s kind of like that, I feel like I’m falling (or being dragged) into his…fat.

I’m not trying to be mean or cruel, I’m stumped about what to do and feel bad about my feelings. And these are my honest, truthful feelings.

Am I a complete asshole for wanting to turn a guy down who is morbidly obese?