While I was out with Evelyn, celebrating my birthday by getting lunch and seeing a movie I recieve a text. “Happy Birthday!” from CM. How could he have known? Unless…he must have gone and spoken with my mom and she told him. Since I hadn’t heard from her, I knew he didn’t tell her everything but this was going too far. I needed to nip this in the bud now, before he resorted to telling her about our “date”.

I decided to bite the bullet and call him. I waited until after I left Evelyn’s and I pulled over to the side of the road a safe distance from her house. He answered after the first ring. After the beginning awkwardness, he asked me if I wanted to hang out again. Enduring painful silent stretches between my words, I said no in the most roundabout, vague way possible. I’ve never been very good at confrontation.

“Is it because of my wife? Because we’re seperating and she won’t call me anymore.” I didn’t know what to say. Yes, it’s because of your wife and your kid and I really just wanted to forget about my ex and didn’t think you’d be so creepy and actually want to date me? I didn’t want to alienate him since he lived across the street from me. Somehow, I managed to convince him that I didn’t want to see him without going into specifics.

“You know, I could have gotten you drunk and done whatever I wanted. I played it slow because I liked you.” Shock forced me to hold my tongue.

Could have gotten me drunk? Off of Smirnoff wine coolers? Seriously?

Done whatever he wanted? Not without me fighting back and seriously injuring or (hopefully) incapacitating him.

My mind screamed at me to give him a verbal lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. Instead, I told him I wasn’t interested and he seemed to accept that. I breathed a sigh of relief when we hung up. I continued to see him around the neighborhood whenever I was home, but eventually he moved away. Sometimes, I’ll run into him around Hometown and I’ll rush to leave but more than once I’ve had to put up with some awkward conversations.

Here’s a valuable lesson ladies – never, ever forget that you could be the next statistic and in the words of Mad-Eye Moody, Constant Vigilance