Quick Recap: My roommate from hell had loud sex next to me while I was trying to sleep, denied that it ever happened, flashed my Granny, set me up to take the blame for her idiocy, had sex again when she knew I was there and damaged personal property. I thought I finally had the upper hand and she proved me wrong.

To say that life in our dorm was strained is an understatement of massive proportions. The dorm was split. RFH was convinced that we were overreacting, Smiley was so angry that she slammed everything (dishes, doors, books), Badonk practically moved in with her best friend and I was a ghost of myself – trying to find a way out of this toxic situation. I started inquiring into moving dorms even if I had to pay more. My mom offered to help pay the difference (probably because it was cheaper than her cell phone bill after all of the phone calls I made to her complaining about RFH).

At one point, RFH asked me to drive her to a party (another lingerie party). I refused, saying that I was tired and wanted to go to sleep, not drive her 30 minutes for free. She offered gas money, but I knew she would never pay up. After all, she still hadn’t paid for Smiley’s damaged rug. That night after I went to bed she came into our room and turned on all of the lights. Our dorm room came with three bright florescent lights across the ceiling, one in the walk in closet and I had a small lamp on my desk. When I asked her to use the lamp alone and not all of the lights because I was sleeping, she replied that I would have to deal with it for being too selfish to drive her to the party. I ignored her and pretended to go to sleep. She banged her things around for a bit but soon grew bored when I didn’t react and left the room, leaving the lights on. I turned them off and went back to bed, determined to leave the dorm for good before she caused me to do something dramatic and illegal.

One day, mere days before finals, RFH came home and announced that she was moving out. She had never wanted to live at the low-cost dorms and was moving to a “real” dorm with people who partied and were over 21, meaning they could buy her booze.

Suddenly that song, “I Can See Clearly Now” made perfect sense:

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day

Look all around, there’s nothing but blue skies

Look straight ahead, nothing but blue skies!

RFH was leaving! She received her key for the new dorm and still had her key to our place, so she decided she was going to move her things over slowly. She started sleeping there at night and I finally felt that there was hope. I could stay and live with Badonk and Smiley and maybe I would be assigned a new roomate that I could become friends with. The future was looking up!

But in true RFH fashion, she had to bring destruction to my life one last time before leaving.

The night before my first day of finals I went to sleep early, nervous but excited to be finishing my first semester of college. RFH had been (slowly) moving her things out, but the majority of her stuff was still there. In the middle of the night all of the lights turned on and I was startled out of a deep sleep. She decided to move at midnight the night before my first finals. Seems like she didn’t want me to do well on my biology final which isn’t surprising since she also almost sabotauged my biology midterm.

For the next two and a half hours she and her current “boyfriend” moved her out of our room keeping the lights on, making a lot of noise and stopping every few minutes to loudly kiss. I asked if she could move some other time and she said no. I asked her to keep the noise down and she ignored me. I wanted to ask if she was a bitch, but I already knew the answer.

Finally she let me sleep. Don’t worry, I did well on my Biology final – no thanks to RFH!

The next day I received a call from her during my second final. I didn’t answer it for a few hours afterwards because I didn’t want to hear her voice after she was such an asshole the night before. Finally, I got around to listening to it. Since she had a key to a different dorm, they inactivated her key to my dorm. She still had things in our room so she was calling to tell me I needed to come let her in. She knew I was in a final and wanted me to leave so that she could move. No. When I called her back she said Badonk had let her in, but wouldn’t leave her key with RFH. Which meant – accordidng to RFH – that she needed to either 1) leave the door to the dorm propped open with a book because no one was there to open the door for her or 2) give her my key so she could get in and out.

I wasn’t planning on doing either. She was too lazy to move everything at once, so she could wait until someone was home to finally finish moving out – it wasn’t my job to be at the dorm on her schedule. Also, I wasn’t going to let her leave our front door propped open so that someone could walk right in and steal my TV while she was moving into her new room and I also wasn’t going to give her carte blanche with my key. She still hadn’t paid Smiley back for the $20 rug (link)! Who knew what she would do with my key!

She ended up waiting until Smiley got home to move. She left with grandiose promises of paying Smiley back “when she had some money”. When the last of her things cleared the door Smiley, Badonk and I did a collective high five and a dance. We were finally clear of our Roomate From Hell, or so we thought…

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