My vacation didn’t quite go as planned. I went with Biffle and we got into a fight within five minutes of entering the hotel room. Biffle updated her facebook status to “Biffle and Zoogie2 at the *Las Vegas Hotel* having fun!”. Now I haven’t spoken about my younger brother, E-Shizzle but Biffle knows all about him. He deals drugs (he only sells when he can’t find work and unemployment is pretty high these days) and most of the family has cut him off. Okay, everyone but me has cut him out of their lives.

Many of his friends know he and I are close and know where I live. They also know that I live alone (it’s no big secret) and that I have some nice electronics in my house including an expensive gaming system. They wouldn’t do anything while I was home, because of E-Shizzle, but if I’m gone… So by tagging me, it gives E-Shizzle the ability to see the post on my page, and then he commented on it which means that depending on who he is friends with and his level of privacy settings, potentially a lot of drug using “friends” could see that I wasn’t home. I had left Evelyn to care for Sam the Cat, but then I was worried for her safety as well as my things.

So I asked Biffle to take down her post. This has happened before, I actively advocate against FourSquare and programs like that, because it’s a theif’s dream application. Usually people don’t have a problem removing their post once I explain my feelings about it. I thought I gave a good, calm, reasoned explanation and I simply asked that she take it down. So imagine my surprise when she said that I was being stupid and it was my fault because I was Facebook friends with my brother.


I’ve never gotten this reaction before. Since Biffle and Evelyn are friends, I appealed to her on Evelyn’s behalf, pointing out that regardless of the right or wrong of the situation, I’d prefer people not to know for Evelyn’s sake. I reminded Biffle of my well known feelings about FourSquare and told her about my cousin, who posted on Facebook that she was in the Bahamas and came home to find her house trashed and her things stolen. She felt it was likely because of her Facebook update. Biffle ended up taking down her post, but not without a lot of grumbling. We went and saw Crazy Horse, which Biffle had wanted to see and which she described as an “artistic dance of naked people under various light patterns, as if they were blank canvases”. It was a burlesque show with lights. It was actually pretty cool, and there was one act that I thought was really funny, playing on old fashioned burlesque. We gambled, we drank and we dragged ourselves off to bed.

Of course, the fighting started the next morning. Our deal was that I would go with Biffle to see Crazy Horse if she would go with me to see Ka (Cirque du Solei). We got up and I went to buy the tickets, but Biffle said they were too expensive – even though I told her the price in November…she suggested that we see a comedian speaking about the differences of the sexes but I wasn’t interested in a one man show. She tried to talk me into going to that show, but I was adamant that even if I couldn’t see Ka it was my turn to choose and I didn’t want to see that show. We left to walk to strip and decided to figure it out later. We walked past an ice cream shop and Biffle pulled me inside and asked what I wanted, her treat. I reminded her that I was lactose intolerant and she decided not to get anything. Then we walked past an outdoor bar specializing in Daquiris. I  LOVE  DAQUIRIS. I think they are the most delicious drink EVER. Biffle asked if I want one, but we drank so much the night before my stomach wasn’t having it so I said no. She declined to get one. I had no idea of what was coming next.

We stopped by a store and I started trying on a few of their hats and mock-posing. Biffle pulled out her camera and I stopped her. Since starting my job, I’ve gained about 20 pounds and I feel very uncomfortable about how I look. I joined a gym and changed my eating habits but I haven’t seen much of a change yet. A few months ago Biffle took a picture of me and posted it on Facebook where I have a muffin top, gigantic arms and a double chin. It was literally the worst angle of me ever. I asked her to take it down and she refused, saying it was her “intellectual property”. The most I could do was untag myself. So this time I told her she could take the picture but not post it, otherwise I didn’t want a picture taken until I lose the weight I’ve put on. I expected her to refuse, but I didn’t expect her to shriek.

“What the hell! First I can’t let anyone know that we’re here and I have to delete my status, now I can’t take a picture of you because you don’t want me to post it!? If I want to let people know that we’re hanging out and having fun, I should be allowed to! You’re making this the worst vacation ever, you’re just angry that I can’t afford to see Ka. Why can’t we just see that comedian, he looks really funny.”

Whoa. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to explain my feelings about my current weight and I assured her that while I had wanted to see Ka, it wasn’t that important to me. But I wasn’t going to spend money on a show I didn’t want to see and she chose the last show. It didn’t seem to do much good, so we just walked on and Biffle put her camera away. For the next two hours we walked the strip without talking to each other. After much text-complaining to Evelyn, I stopped Biffle and we sat down. If I wanted to walk Las Vegas Blvd in silence, I would have gone alone. I confronted her about everything.

“This is the stupidest vacation; we’re spending the whole time fighting and not speaking. You’re upset that I didn’t want ice cream, but you know if I eat any I’ll be sick. You want to see that one man show, but I don’t want to so either you see it alone or we agree on a show. You’re mad about my feelings about pictures and Facebook. I can’t stop you from posting, but I would think that as my friend you would care about my feelings.”

“You don’t want to do anything. I forgot about your lactose intolerance, but you don’t even want to drink!”

“Yea, my stomach is upset, but you aren’t going to guilt me into drinking just because you don’t want to drink alone. Either get yourself a drink and man up about it, or don’t drink but don’t blame me. If you can’t drink alone you should think about why your happiness is so dependent on what I’m doing. If we can’t agree then I think we should split up and have seperate vacations.”

After a long discussion we decided to get tickets to Penn & Teller which was absolutely fabulous. We did have an underlying tension for the rest of the trip, but it was better than the complete silence of before. Now that the trip is over, I don’t think it was horrible. It certainly wasn’t my dream vacation though!