Quick Recap: My first college roommate, nicknamed the “Roommate From Hell” and I got off to a bad start with her having loud sex next to me while I was trying to sleep the night before my first exam and then denied that it ever happened.

I quickly realized that I was going to hate RFH. She was constantly getting high, having the munchies and eating my food. She would set her alarm and it would go off for hours before she would actually get up, ruining my sleep. She would come home at 3-4am every night, rush into our room, turn on all of the lights and loudly get ready for bed. She had friends over that left trash on my bed, never washed her dishes, frequently yelled into the phone at her mom/friend/most recent “boyfriend”, and would use all of my shampoo and conditioner until I started hiding them.

I thought I had seen the worse that she could do, but I was wrong. I am very close to my Granny, she helped raise me and is completely wonderful – she taught me to bake, showed me how to ride a bike, how to read, and was always there when I needed her. Granny loves art, so we decided that she would come visit me for the day and we would go explore the nearby art museum. I warned all of my roomies that Granny would be there early Saturday to pick me up, but that we would be quiet so they could sleep in.

I woke up extra early to clean up, so that Granny wouldn’t have to see how gross our dorm was. RFH must have had an allergy to doing dishes, because hers sat there for months growing mold. When Granny came over, I proudly showed off my spotless dorm. She headed to the bathroom before we left and I went into my room to grab a sweater. RFH was awake, getting changed in the closet. One thing I loved about this dorm is that we had gigantic walk in closets. RFH and I would change in the closet for privacy.

My sweater was in the closet, so I told RFH through the door to let me know when she was done so I could grab it. Granny was walking out of the bathroom when RFH came out of our bedroom holding my jacket and tossed it to me. Except RFH wasn’t wearing the flannel pj pants and spaghetti strap t-shirt she had been sleeping in. Oh no. She had changed into see-through lingerie. And she walked right past my dear old Granny to give me my sweater. She was basically naked.

My Granny’s jaw dropped to the ground like an elevator with the cable cut. RFH breezed past her into our room, her mesh covered ass swaying like she was wearing a conservative suit.

Granny didn’t say much on our way to the museum and we ended up having a fantastic time with all of the exhibits, but I noticed that after that whenever I told my family about another mean, crazy thing RFH had done no one questioned whether I was exaggerating.

I guess once you flash a 70 year old woman, there isn’t anything you won’t do because a few weeks later she set me up to take the blame for her misdeed…

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