There I was, innocently putting on my mascara when my phone went off causing me to immediately stab myself in the eye. I have really loud, obnoxious ring tones because if I use normal ring tones, I never hear my phone. One of my coworkers, Whiskey Girl, was calling to see if I wanted a yogurt from the fridge. Uhh…YEAH!

My company offers free breakfast in the form of cereal, bagels and fresh fruit. Pre-recession, they would also have individual yogurts, a wider selection of cereal and all kinds of granola bars, breakfast bars, etc. Yogurt now? Very rare, it’s like spotting a polar bear walking down the street. You know that polar bears exist, but did you ever expect to see one here? I told Whiskey Girl “Yogurt? Me? Yes!”. And magically, when I came into work, there was a yogurt sitting on my desk. Happy morning!

Ok, it didn’t really look like that. I was really happy that I didn’t have to fight over the yogurt with everyone in the kitchen. That’s one thing I hate about free food at work. Everyone acts like its feeding time at the zoo, shoving and snapping at each other.

I especially hate people who go to lunch early, then get up and take seconds or thirds of the meal and maybe even wrap up a plate for dinner before everyone has a chance to get their first helping. Which can mean we run out and that sad person with a meeting until 12:30 doesn’t get any lunch at all. Why are people so inconsiderate? I’ve been that person, consigned to small bits of salad and scrapings from the bottom of the bowl. I don’t mind bringing my lunch, but this is ridiculous!

It was so bad at one point – with people taking lunch portions plus dinner for themselves, their spouse, their 2.5 kids, and that odd cousin that stays with them sometimes – that the company actually started locking up the free food, so that people could only have limited portions and couldn’t come back and double dip at 2pm (if they weren’t shameless enough to wrap up dinner during lunch!).

I appreciate my company, Anonymous Software Company, and the fact that they feed me two meals a day. It’s my greedy coworkers that I drive me crazy sometimes!

But for now, I’ll enjoy my yogurt. Strawberry…yuuuuuuuuum.